#what a shitshow (affectionate)

[shima-draws]

Anyway speaking of poly trios. Have any of you considered Lawlusan because MANNNN.

[rottingpirate]

Gaz x Tall! Male reader where they are secretly married and 141 see their rings but think they are married to someone else

Secretly married || Gaz x Tall M!reader

Warnings: implied cheating, kissing

Hope you don't mind, but I wrote this as only Gaz having the ring on his finger and the reader having it as a necklace that's not exactly visible.

The whole shitshow started when Price sat silently at his desk, a burning cigar hanging from his mouth. It has been a quiet day so far, maybe because it’s still pretty early in the morning and most of the base was still sound asleep. He had completed all the paperwork that needed to be done, so he picked up a random magazine that sat at his desk, that he didn’t even know where it came from.

 It was a white magazine with a bold yellow title and a picture of some model in the middle. It looked like something teenagers would read. He flipped it open at a random page which was a recipe page, Chocolate-covered cherries, sounded pretty okay but as Price wasn’t exactly the cooking type, he skipped a few pages until he found something rather amusing. ‘5 Tell-Tale signs that your coworkers are dating’. He was sure that no one in his squad was dating, but oh well, it wouldn’t hurt to read some stupid assumptions as he had nothing better to do.

‘1. They’re Always Talking To Each Other.’

Damn, at first you’re talking and then you’re suddenly married.

‘2. They Go To Lunch Together. All The Time’ ‘3. They Bring Each Other Coffee.’  ‘4. They Look At Each Other – A Lot’ ‘5. They Tease Each Other.’ 

His initial thought was Soap and Ghost, but it switched to you and Gaz real quick. You two were always together causing some trouble. Where there was one, the other one was close by. Gaz basically lived in your room for fucks sake. 

Do you two always talk together? Yes. You two were best friends, inseparable you could say. Conversations, jokes, gossips, teasing, bickering, random debates, etc. But it could also be the fact that you were the youngest ones in 141, with almost no age gap. 

Do you two eat together? Yes. Breakfast, lunch and dinner was always spent with you two sitting next to each other. Sometimes you wouldn’t even talk,  just enjoying each other's presence. Other times you two would throw food at each other and laugh together.

Do you bring each other coffee? Yes. Usually in the mornings, you made coffee for each other. But then again, the coffee was for the entire squad so…

Do you look at each other? Also yes. Small glances here and there and looking at each other when you thought no one saw. Even when one of you would be having a conversation with someone else, your eyes would somehow meet.

But with all of these signs there was one problem though, Gaz was married. Price didn’t know to whom, because it never came up before, but Gaz did have a nice little silver ring on his ring finger. 

Price decided that it was enough of reading and put the magazine aside. What he didn’t know was that he unknowingly and accidentally started paying attention to you two a lot more. How you two would interact with each other versus how you would interact with the rest of the 141. How sometimes Gaz would slightly brush his hand against yours. How you would rest your chin on top of his head and hug him close. How you would affectionately call him ‘Kyle’. How he would jump on your back from time to time and something Price never noticed before was that Gaz often wore your clothes.  After basically spying on you two for a whole week he decided to tell Soap and Ghost.

“You think they’re fucking?” Ghost leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, while Soap stood next to him with a confused and slightly scared look on his face. “Gaz doesn’t strike me as the cheating type though.” Soap continued looking at him, glancing at Ghost before turning back to Price. “He doesn’t, but somethings going on with those two.” Price tapped the table, trying to figure out what to do. Should he even be worried about this? Well it sure would suck for his poor wife, who has no idea that her husband was cheating on her. 

“Maybe we should just talk to them. Figure out what’s up.” Ghost was the voice of reason. He didn't want to jump into any conclusions. His stomach twists uncomfortably though. He wishes that it was just a misunderstanding. 

After a good twenty minutes they decided on confronting you at the bar that all five of you would be going to tonight, hoping that maybe you’d be drunk enough to confess to whatever the fuck was going on. 

In the evening, 10 minutes before you all were meeting up and leaving, the trio was heading towards your room where you and Gaz usually hung out. Maybe they could find some answers while also praying that this all was just a huge misunderstanding. Thankfully, your door wasn't fully closed and what they saw was horrifying. Yep, their suspicions were correct all along. Soap nearly dropped his wallet “Are you seeing this?” You two were kissing. Price pulled both men farther away from the private scene, suddenly scared to do anything.

They looked horrified, truly scared.

“But Gaz is married!”

With a gruff reply, Price said “That’s not good,” he bit his lip, a million thoughts crossing his mind. 

“Should we do something?”  Soap asked as he looked back at the other two. He was feeling sick all of a sudden.  You and Gaz were his friends, and it really wasn’t their business what you two did behind closed doors, but it was just wrong. They had thought that Gaz was happily married. Did you know that he was married? Well, you had to right???

A moment of silence before Ghost speaks up.

He shook his head, “What can we do?  It’s really none of our business what the two of them do behind closed doors together.”

“It’s still wrong,” Soap said, all defensive.

Price grabbed them and dragged them along, farther away from you two. “We’re not doing anything. Not now at least ”

You noticed a change in Soap over the next few days and grew concerned. He was acting standoffish with you and Gaz had said that he had noticed the same thing. You asked around, but it seemed like you two were the only ones that he was like that with.

He was your friend, you wondered what was going on with him. Did you do something wrong? “We should ask him,” you told Gaz that night as you laid in your bed with him cuddled up next to you.  “I want to get to the bottom of this because I’m worried that we did something to offend him. Did we do something wrong? Is it because I accidentally spilled coffee over him?”

Gaz ran a hand through your hair, smiling lazily at your stressed expression, “It's probably nothing, dont worry about it.”

You frowned, “Well, I am worried.”

He shrugged his shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “Well, whatever it is…I’m sure we can figure it out tomorrow. Now, go to sleep. 'm tired.” He murmured, before closing his eyes and after a while you did too.

So the next day you and Gaz cornered Soap in the hallway. He stood near the wall, and he wouldn’t look either of you in the eye and you could tell he was really frustrated. He was irritated the entire day and wouldn’t even spar with you. You glanced at Gaz and then back at the mad Soap.

“Soap, we’ve noticed over the past week that you’ve become a little hostile toward us,” Gaz started.  “We wanted to know why that was? If you don’t mind telling us.”

“Did we do something to offend you?”  You asked, your voice softer.  “Because whatever it is I’m sure that we can work it out.”

He finally looked at you, “How could you cheat on your wife?!” He shouted, looking at Gaz specifically.

The outburst left the two of you startled and you looked at one another. Gaz was about to say something, but you cut him off. "Gaz isn’t cheating on his wife, Soap" You were hesitant and confused. 

“Price, Ghost and I saw you kissing one another. You’re married, how could you do that to your significant other?! We- I thought you were happily married.”

You were still a little confused. You were pretty sure Gaz told everyone that you two were together. Unless he didn’t.  "I thought they knew." You said while not breaking eye contact with Soap.

"Didn't you tell them?" 

"I thought you did…" 

oh…

Then it all hit you. You laughed a little, pulling out your chain, it had a silver ring on it that was identical to the one Gaz had on his ring finger. "He doesn't have a wife. He has a husband actually and he isn't cheating on him either." You said with a sheepish grin on your face.

He was shocked. “No way…” Soap shook his head, not taking his eyes off the dangling ring. “Holy shit.”

You chuckled and shook your head, “If you're wondering, we’re very much in love and not cheating.”

“Then how come no one knows that the two of you are married?”

“I guess we never told anyone,” Gaz told him, scratching his head. 

“Oh,” his cheeks heated up.  “’m sorry. Bloody hell, I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Fuck, It’s okay Soap, but next time talk to us about it instead of giving us the cold shoulder. We were confused to say the least..”

He nodded his head, “Kay, promise.” He nodded, a small smile creeping on his face. “Fuck, wouldn’t of guessed that you two would be married. Guess it makes sense the more I think about it.” 

You all laughed about it for a good minute before deciding to come clean to the rest of the squad. The embarrassment on their faces was too clear and twice as funny.

[luhafraser]

C is the same way with everyone close to her not just S. Add that she's been with T since S1, married and has a son with him while S has pretend gfs, now a pap walk with a hooker, is on Raya and spends all his free time away from C makes the idea of SC an impossibility. It's been 11 years. 3 more months of work together and if you think they'll ever see each other again outside a text or phone call, you're still a firm believer.

No Anon, she isn't... But feel free to see and believe what you want 😉

Just tell me... In all these years, when Tony, her shy husband, was uncomfortable appearing publicly on red carpets, where was Cait's attention? When, in the middle of the crowd, did she look for her husband with an attentive and/or worried look? When did she pay attention to what happened to him when he was there for her, huh?! Normal behavior would be for her to look for his gaze, for care or even for reassurance that everything is okay. He's there to support her, but he also never seems to care, just as Cait doesn't try to comfort him in situations where he doesn't feel well.

And... This need to debunk shippers shows insecurity, that's all Anon... If your truth is so absolute, why waste time telling me these things? One of the reasons shippers don't believe in Caitríona and Tony as a couple is Cait's fault, who is only publicly an affectionate wife when she knows there's a camera in their faces.

But you're right, Anon. I'm a firm believer, and I believe this circus that Sam and Cait still support, even though it started with OL, it's not just about OL anymore, it's about them, their careers, other projects, what they want to sell, their products, their public image... Even with the end of the OL, we still won't have normality and something true... This shitshow should continue for longer.

Note: And no, Cait hasn't been with Tony since S1. Even after appearing with Tony in Donal's post (late 2014) and Tony's supposed friend saying that Cait was Tony's girl (early 2015), there are articles about Caitríona mentioning her being single and happy with it, including in one Caitríona says "At least I get kissed a lot on-screen".

[sgiandubh]

https://www.tumblr.com/almost-romantic/652813634861498368/ive-been-looking-for-this-video-for-ages

It's Sam.. Caitriona spontaneity here is scandalous

What beautiful memories😍

Dear Scandalous Spontaneity Anon,

I am not sure what exactly happened there and, if I remember that con short reel, I am not sure if he was on the panel and she was on Zoom or if he wasn't there at all. Someone? Anyone?

On the other hand, I am 'not sure' what exactly happened here, either:

However, what I am pretty sure of is the fact that in time, C mastered that ability of speaking under her breath. And that S loves to tease & surprise her, especially when she is or needs to be focused and serious. Not a JamieClaire thing, a real people thing.

'Such a child', indeed. Her 'ridiculous human being'. Reminds me of the 'silly cow' vs ' preposterous twat' that often, very often pepper some very affectionate episodes of my life.

Mordor, you're missing out on all the fun of this #shitshow. Must be those brooms up your arses.

[5ugarand5pice]

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve

(can we pretend it says silverstone instead of melbourne thank you)

Part 1: Dear Reader  | Part 2: Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve | Part 3: coming soon

pairing: driver! reader x f1 grid

inspired by: Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve by Taylor Swift (ik the song is unrelated but if anyone wants to cry over the possible Taylor and Joe split, my dms are open)

a/n: a couple months late but you asked and now you shall receive! thank you so much for all the love for Dear Reader, it means the world to me 🥹🤍 super sorry for going ghost (went thru a breakup, cried over a 🤢boy🤢 and tried to get my shit together) but i’m all good now and better than ever! definitely in my reputation era which means y/n will be too... soon. anyways, hope you like this and sending everyone hugs esp after the shitshow that was the aus gp (justice for carlos!!)

warning/s: a bit sad??? longer than i expected it would be but yes

If you would've blinked then I would've Looked away at the first glance If you tasted poison, you could've Spit me out at the first chance And if I was some paint, did it splatter On a promising grown man? And if I was a child, did it matter If you got to wash your hands?

The rest of your time in Monaco was spent coordinating with your team on possible moves forward in F1. Come Tuesday morning, you and Abi were on the way to your home country, a half-assed plan and bundle of nerves in your hands.

“It’ll be alright. You’ve got a kickass mom who’ll drag Christian’s ass to court and back if she has to and you also have me. You know I got your back— even if it means breaking a law or two.” Abi says, squeezing your hand twice as you make your way to your family home.

“For legal reasons, that was a joke.” you chuckle.

“Please, I’ll even help you bury the body.” your mom replies, giving you a small wink from the driver's seat.

You shake your head as you smile, the familiarity of the scenery as well as the playful conversations with your mom and Abi bring you a sense of comfort you had missed. It’s good to be home.

When your mom had pulled up to the driveway, your grandparents were already waiting by the door, a small banner written “welcome back home girls!” in your Nana’s penmanship.

“I missed you guys so much.” you almost cry out as you reach in for a hug.

“Our little racer isn’t so little anymore.” Nana coos.

“We watched your race in Austria, sweetheart. Almost forgot how much of a softie you actually are when I saw you drive.” Papa teases.

“Don’t tell outsiders that she’s a softie, we have a reputation to uphold over here.” Abi pipes, tone going high as she struggles with her bag.

“As if everyone doesn’t know that she’s a softie.” Nana says as she rolls her eyes affectionately.

You all chuckle as you finally make your way inside, Nana noting that she would have supper set up at 6pm.

The rest of the afternoon was spent settling in your respective rooms. Wandering around as you take in your surroundings, a picture frame on your dresser catches your attention.

The 2017 British Grand Prix.

Oh, God. If only you knew.

Oh, oh All I used to do was pray Would've, could've, should've If you'd never looked my way

You placed third at the Formula 2 British Grand Prix. Ahead of you was Charles Leclerc and your teammate, Norman Nato, respectively.

“You know, if he weren’t so cute, I would definitely be screaming at him for overtaking you like that.” Abi mutters as she hands you a towel.

“Please, we both know you’d probably use that as an excuse to make a move.” you playfully scoff as you wipe your face.

“I would,” she shrugs, “but I’m rooting for your enemies to lovers love story”.

“Oh, Abi.” you sigh, “Where did you get that idea?”

“Please, you’ve seen the way he looks when you pass by.” she giggles as she mocks what you assume were lovestruck eyes.

“Quit it. He doesn’t like me like that. He just” you pause, “has that charm.”

“Sure,” she grins, “but when you guys end up together, I’ll be mentioning this moment in my Maid of Honor speech.”

Before you can protest, Kenny Kirwan, your team manager, clears his throat behind you.

“Y/n, Abi, I’d like to introduce you to Christian Horner, the team principal of Red Bull Racing.” he tilts his head to his right.

“Christian, This is Y/n, this is our driver I’ve been telling you about. We’re lucky to have her in our team.” he continues, his smile faltering as you remain stoic.

“Hi. I’m Abi. Her social media manager and best friend.” Abi speaks up, breaking the awkward silence. She extends her hand, eyes darting between the two of you.

“Nice to meet you.” he grins, shaking her hand. “Congrats on second, by the way. I’m so proud of you.” he looks at you, engulfing you in what you suspect was one of those weird man clap hugs.

“Oh! Uh, thank you.” you smile, immediately pulling away. “I didn’t think you would watch my races.”

“I try to. You’ve been progressing well.”  he comments.

“Planning to win the championship, so, you know, gotta get those points.” you reply, shifting your weight between your legs.

“You can do it. You are your father’s daughter after all.” he smirks.

“Uhuh.” you wince.

Kenny does his best to ease the tension, raving about how he discovered your talent and how much potential you have to further in Formula 1.

“Well, it’s been lovely catching up with you but we really have to go. We promised Lorelei we’d be home before late to celebrate.” Abi interrupts.

“Oh! Of course.” he smiles awkwardly. “Um, before you go, maybe you’d want to go to the race tomorrow? I’d love to have you as my guest.”

“Sure. I’d like that. Abi’s my plus one.” you reply. “If that’s okay.” you quickly add, to which he smiles.

“Of course. Well, I’ll go ahead. Gotta get ready for FP3 and quali. You still have the same number?” Christian asks.

All you do is nod as he walks away, a dumbfounded Kenny following suit.

“Wait ‘til your mom hears about this.” Abi breaks you out of your trance, yanking your arm to lead you to your room.

I would've stayed on my knees And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

As it turns out, Formula 1 had a completely different vibe from Formula 2; the screams were louder, the air was hotter and everyone seemed more tense. However, no one was as tense as you.

“I don’t know Abi.” you sigh, your hands gripping the wheel. “What if it’s worse than yesterday?” you turn to look at her.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” she asks, eyes trained on the mirror as she applies yet another layer of lip gloss.

“His wife can hate me. I get run over. I run over someone. I make a fool out of myself in the paddock. I unintentionally ruin my chances of ever becoming a Formula 1 driver which will then stop me from achieving my dream of becoming a Formula 1 World Champion.” your grip tightening as you ramble on.

Abi glances at your hands, sensing that you were about to slip into one of your spirals. She immediately grabs a hold of those and squeezes twice. Breathe In.

“She’ll love you. You won’t be on the track. You won’t be driving. You can always apologize and flash your adorable smile. I won’t let you ruin your chances. You will become a formula 1 driver. You will become world champion. It’s going to be fun, trust me” her hands squeezing yours twice again. Breathe Out.

“Fuck it. Okay. Let’s do this.” you mutter, quickly closing your windows and stepping out of your car.

The two of you pass through the gates, feeling a bit out of place and out of your element as a guest. Christian gave the two of you a tour of the Red Bull hospitality, introducing you to the crew while at it. Although they all seemed nice, your stomach churned every time surprise would flash their face when Christian introduced you as his daughter.

When time was nearing the race, he excused himself to look for his drivers. Abi left as well, muttering something about finding the ladies’ room. That left you standing alone in a corner of the garage, too shy to add on to the hustle and bustle of the race day.

“You look lonely, want some company?” you hear a voice to your right.

“Oh! Um, sure. If you want.” you reply, flustered.

“Okay.” he heartily laughs, “So, are you here for a sponsor or something?” he asks.

“A personal guest? I think.” you chuckle, “It’s complicated.”

“Well, complicated, nice to meet you. I’m Daniel.” he grins, offering you his hand to shake.

“I actually know who you are.” you smile back as you shake his hand, “Not that I stalk you or anything! I’ve watched a few of your races.”

“I’m a driver too. Well, currently in Formula 2.”  you continue, embarrassment tinging your cheeks, “Y/n y/l/n”.

“Oh no, more young drivers!” he dramatically gasps, “Another reminder that I’m aging.”

“You don’t look a day over 70!” you joke, face immediately paling when you realize what you just said. “Oh God! I’m so-”, your apology cut off by Daniel's laughter.

“Oh, I like you. You’re funny.” he breathily sighs. “We can be friends now.”

“So sense of humor is part of your friendship checklist?” you tease, mentally thanking whichever angel God sent you. “Sadly you didn’t tick that box on mine.”

“Okay,” he pouts his lips. “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” you roll your eyes.

“Chickens.”

“Chickens who?”

“Enkkk.” he voices out, mimicking a buzzer. “Owls hoot, chickens cluck.”

You purse your lips. “A for effort. We should be friends so we can work on your sense of humor, grandpa.”

Daniel scoffs and places his hands on his chest, feigning hurt.

“Daniel!” someone hollers. “Mate, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Damn it.” Daniel chuckles. “I really thought I was gonna win at hide and seek this week.”

“Christian says we have to go over some notes before the race” he goes on, clueless to your presence.

“Well, it seems I have to bid you adieu.” Daniel turns to you, bowing to add to your amusement. “Till next time, mademoiselle.”

Daniel leaves, heading to what you guess is their meeting room. The stranger follows him, sending you a sheepish smile, presumably his form of apology for interrupting your conversation. You wave him off with a smile, shouting a quick “Good luck!” as they pass.

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us

Despite both of the Red Bulls not being able to set foot on the podium, the garage still celebrated points; P4 for Daniel and P5 for his teammate, Max. Daniel, being Mister Congeniality, insisted (quite ruthlessly) that you come to the afterparty. This is how you and Abi ended up back in your room, flipping out over outfit options.

“I think we need to find you the perfect ensemble that screams I’m classy but I can be a slut if I want to.” Abi shouts from inside your closet, another batch of dresses being thrown towards the growing pile on the floor.

“I can’t look like a slut, Abi. My father might be there.” You mutter, setting up your makeup at the vanity.

As much as it bothered you, you knew better than to try to clean while Abi rummaged through your clothes. She once gave you an earful, going on about how messy people are creative geniuses. Thus, the artist shall not be disturbed.

“We’re trying to attract a driver and a driver’s seat, not your father. ” she gags, head peeking out of the closet. “Have you seen the way that Max guy looked at you?”.

“No, because I’m not looking at him.” you turn away. “Besides, I thought you were rooting for a certain Monegasque.”

“I am, but it's rude to disregard other contenders.” she shrugs, passing you a little black dress. “I think this is it. Max will definitely keep his eyes on you tonight.”

Just as always, Abi was right. When you had finally arrived at the pub, Max immediately spotted you, nudging Daniel towards your direction.

“Glad you can make it, mademoiselle.” Daniel greets you, reenacting his bow from earlier that day.

“Good evening, Sire.” you curtsy in response.

“May I escort thee to thy party chambers?” he continues his act, mimicking a posh accent you’ve mostly heard in period dramas.  

“I’d be most delighted, o good Sir.” you nod, locking arms with him and Abi with the other. “I’d like to introduce my companion. Sir Daniel, meet Lady Abigail.”

“Delighted to make your acquaintance, Lady Abigail.” he waves with his free hand.

“You guys are crazy.” Abi snorts. “But likewise, Sir Daniel.”

He leads the two of you to a booth, excusing himself to get the two of you a drink. Max was still seated at the same spot, nursing a half empty bottle of beer.

“I’m sorry for interrupting your conversation with Daniel before the race and for not introducing myself then.” he sheepishly smiles at you. “I’m Max.”

“Y/n, and no worries about that. It was a busy time.” you smile back. “This is my friend by the way, Abi.”

“Congrats on P5.” she nods at him, eyes immediately darting back to the crowd.

Before Max could get another word in, Daniel returns with drinks in his hands.

“Three margaritas for the lovely ladies and myself.” he gives a cheeky smile while passing out the drinks. “Another beer for Max.”

The four of you spent the night getting to know each other better. Halfway through your drinks, Daniel excuses himself to mingle with other guests. Abi excuses herself as well, saying she needs to get water but you later catch her wink at you while a guy talks her up at the bar. That bitch (affectionately).

“So, you come to races often?” Max asks, shifting your attention back to him.

“Mostly busy with my own but I watch you guys from time to time.” you smile.

“You race too?” he chokes on his drink.

“Currently in Formula 2, yes.” Handing him a tissue, you chuckle. “I kinda take offense at your shock.”

“Sorry, it’s just that-” he starts off, wiping off his lips. “I think it’s best if you don’t finish that sentence.” you giggle. “So, Max, how long have you been racing?”

“Well, pretty much ever since my dad thought I was old enough to start.” he mutters.

“So, since you were in the womb?” you joke.

“Pretty much.” he laughs. “You?”

“Similar. Got into it because of my dad as well but continued for myself.” you look down and fidget with your rings.

“Anyways,” he clears his throat. “What’s your favorite team?”

“Ferrari.” you grin. “Big Vettel fan here.”

“You were hanging out in the wrong garage then.” he muses. “Any way I can switch you over to my side?”

“I can be convinced,” you tease. “if given enough incentive.”

“How about I convince you over dinner?” he asks.

“Bold ask.” you giggle. “I’d have to think about that.”

Oh, oh You're a crisis of my faith Would've, could've, should've If I'd only played it safe

At that time, it seemed like the world was working in your favor. You had three consecutive podiums in Hungaroring, Spa and Monza. To add to the excitement, all of those races coincided with that of the F1 calendar, giving you more chances to hang out in the Red Bull garages.

The highlight, though, would be Monza. After winning first place, Christian invited you to breakfast to celebrate and “make up for lost time”. Abi, being the perfect balance of tough love and unending support, decided it’d be best for you to go alone, much to your dismay. You paced back and forth in the hallway, making a mental list of things to not bring up. Your thoughts come to a halt when you hear the click of the door, revealing Geri on her way out.

“Y/n! Christian’s inside. You can just head in.” she smiles, hand holding the doorknob.

“Oh, okay.” you breathe out. “Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous.”

“It’s alright.” she chuckles. “He’s nervous too if that’s any consolation.”

“A little.” you giggle. “Um, I hope it’s not an intrusion. Me being here, I mean.”

“That’s nonsense!” she exclaims. “I just thought it’d be better for the two of you to talk things out alone. But, if you’re open to it, I’d love to get to know you better as well.”

“I’d like that.” you exhale. “Well, I think I should head in.”

“Of course.” she laughs, moving towards the lift. Turning around she says, “He’s trying, you know.”

Not knowing what to say, you offer a smile and head inside their room.

“Honey, do you think she’d want more food? Or is this enough?” you hear him shout.

Heading towards the dining area, you chuckle. “She left already. But, if you’re planning to feed the entire grid, maybe we can order more food.”

“Y/n.” he grins. “It’s lovely to see you.”

“You too.” you mutter, taking a seat opposite him.

“So,” he clears his throat. “I saw you win yesterday, congratulations!”

“Thanks.” you beam. “I heard you guys got P2 and P3 for quali. Must be looking forward to this race huh?”

“Quite.” he hands you a plate of waffles. “You still like this, right?”

“You remembered.” you gasp. “Even the strawberries and bananas.”

“I checked with your mom to make sure I got it right.” his cheeks tinges with embarrassment. “Gotta feed next year’s potential F1 driver well.”

“What?” your jaw drops. “Formula 1?”

“I introduced you to Franz Tost for a reason. He told me he’d love to have you in Toro Rosso next year.” he muses. “Maybe after that, you’d be racing for Red Bull.”

“HOLY SHIT!” you scream. “Is this for real?”

“Yes. It is.” he chuckles.

“Wait, who’s leaving?” you pause.

“Well, you’ll be taking Daniil’s seat. Carlos is moving to Renault for the last few races which leaves you, hopefully, and Pierre to complete the team next year.”

“Will they still be racing next year?” you ask.

“Carlos will be with Renault and I’m still unsure about Kvyat.” he says. “So, thoughts?”

“I’d have to discuss it with my team but personally, it’d be an honor.”

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

You get up from your bed, hands still clutching the picture frame. Based on the dark view outside your window, you assume you overslept, completely missing supper. You tuck the frame in a random drawer. Out of sight, out of mind.

You make your way to the kitchen, moving quietly to not wake anyone else up. You almost scream when you see your grandpa sitting on a barstool, a faint light casting a shadow.

“Why are you up so late?” you clutch your chest, trying to calm your heart.

“Just thinking, you know.” he mutters. “Worrying about you.”

“Oh Pa, I’m alright.” you hug him, taking a seat at his side. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, kiddo.” he breathes out. “I heard you crying earlier. I know you’re not fine.”

You sit there in silence. Although you were raised so open to emotions, you still had trouble expressing your own, worried about worrying others.

“When you had your first accident during your karting days, I freaked out. I almost had your mom pull you out, thinking that the sport was too much for you.” he starts. “Then, on our way to the car, you walked up to me and Nan and said, ‘look Pa! I have battle marks! I can go against the tough ones now!’. You had tears in your eyes and a bruise on your leg and arm, but you looked so happy.”

He grabs both of your hands, rubbing his thumbs across the back. “I knew then I didn’t have to protect you, not because you didn’t need it. God knows I tried my best to do that. But, you didn’t want it. You were so good on your own.”

“Not to be a sexist asshole but there were times when I wished you chose a more common hobby. Ballet, piano, anything that didn’t have a high risk of me losing you.” he breathes out. “It wasn’t just the physical aspect too. I just- I see complete strangers say just cruel things about you and how you started losing bits of yourself.”

“You’ve grown, but I used to be able to still see that little racer in her braids and a goofy smile with a missing tooth. Now, it’s like you turned into this machine. I get that it’s a tough sport but I worry you will lose your heart and spirit.”

“I- ” you sniffle, “I love racing. I know that.”

“I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life but right now I feel so lost.” you continue. “I never would’ve imagined being this close to achieving my dreams and now it’s gone.”

“And it’s silly. Like, I know I have mom. I have you and Nan. Abi too.” you breathe in. “But he should’ve been part of my life as well. He’s not just mom’s friend from college who knocked her up. He’s my father.”

Although your tears start to flow, you continue. “As much as his absence hurt, I still tried. I gave up my childhood and other dreams I had to be here.”

“The worst part of it all was me thinking I finally got what I wanted. That I finally had a dad.” you exhale. “Then he sold my femininity to the world then threw me away.”

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time Oh, God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign

Heading to the track felt like hell, dread filled your stomach and your hands were clammy with sweat. For your sake, Abi had ensured you wouldn’t get any press time and to your surprise, the teams agreed. Thinking about it now, you assume it was to save their dwindling reputation. Although your social battery was at an all time low, you still stopped to interact with your fans on your way to and from the paddock. As genuine as your gratitude was, your smile and thank you’s were visibly forced.

Everyone knew what this race weekend meant to you. You’ve been looking forward to racing in Silverstone, making it your goal of the season to go on the podium at your home race in your dream team. However, that seems like something only possible in an alternate reality. Despite Max’s pleas of you staying in Red Bull, you refused. You didn’t even bother telling him about your shift back to Toro Rosso or that you had moved out of his place. He’ll find out one way or another.

Thankfully, your schedule and distance from their garage minimized your interactions with certain members of the Red Bull team. Nevertheless, keeping true to your promise, you invited Daniel and a couple other drivers to meals in between practices, doing your best to front a “I’m doing better than you think” facade. You even reached out to Alex Albon, making it clear that there is no bad blood between you and that his replacement isn’t something you took personally.

Come Sunday morning, you have grown accustomed to your new (or old) team. Staring at the mirror gave you a sense of deja vu; the bold text of “Red Bull” across your suit mocked you. Wiping off a few stray tears, you can’t help but think about yourself from a year ago and what she would’ve thought about your situation. Would she laugh at the irony or would she cry with you?

You turn around when you hear a faint knock. Abi peeks in, a small smile gracing her face. “It’s almost race time. Are you ready?”

“Fuck no.”

a/n: as always, would love to hear your thoughts so feedback is more than welcome (but please be kind) !!!  to all that shared their love for Dear Reader, you have my heart and i hope this part did not disappoint 🫂 took a while to get here (seriously wrote a long ass piece then completely changed everything but ohwell) and i think i’m happy with the direction so far?? also, please let me know if you want to be part of the taglist or if it’s not working (still unsure abt how this works but i shall figure it out!)

taglist: @lighttsoutlewis @holy-macncheese-balls @for-fuck-sake-im-alive​ @idkiwantchocolatee @dan3avocado @aquamariene-me 

[brothebro]

Any dp/dc fic recs?

of course! Honestly, i love so many of them and I'll try to include as many as i can in my list here! The Undead Lockpicking series by Milaley: In which Danny has a lockpicking youtube channel and he lockpicks the Watchtower. Hilarious, excellent 10/10

The Bat Trap by Threee: Honestly a good ol twin switcheroo with many funny moments but also a lot of delicious angst! (a Damian & Danny twins au) Just, chef's kiss!

GLXY:PSSNGR by socraticat: Danny takes the place of his alternate universe self who lives with vlad in Gotham after vlad killed his parents. Muchas angst, lots of worldbuilding and fantastic action!

A second life by Die_Erlkonigin6083:Kid Danny who has memories from a past life and currently is Dick Grayson's clone baby (and a bunch of others but mostly Dick's) Adorable 100/10 recommend>

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood by halfagone (milkywxy): Epic. Dad!Lex and and dimensional travel son!Danny. Sweet and super well-executed Cass/Danny. 10/10 i need to catch up with the latest chappies but it's so freaking good I am aaaaaa

Rooftop Express by EmeraldsAndAmethyst: Danny/Jason. Awesome af. Crime lord Jason ftw! Danny is a (supernatural)delivery boy and professional enigma in Gotham

Our Empty Graves by suomifae: Hazmat Suit, no one knows au! Danny/Jason in which Danny finds himself helping out in Jason's gang. Very cool story building, ideas and execution. Im literally screaming in every chapter. so so good!

bloodlines by halfagone (milkywxy): Danny is Diana's and Bruce's son. He of course doesn't know that. There's a prophesy involved that says Danny will end the world, Diana finds out accidentally about it and finds out she has a son (memory wipe shenanigans) and GOSH. There's so much awesome stuff happening and it's a pleasure to see them piece together the facts. 10/10 Diana rocks

Summons by DizzlyPuzzled: Ghost king Danny in which because he's underage his father gets summoned in his stead. Bruce would very much like to know why he keeps getting yote through summoning circles. Just the right amount of funny, family fluff and angst.

If You Give a Bat a Burger by Cielle_Noire: BOI I HAVE NO WORDS. the plot in this is thiccc and juicy and delicious and the mystery is the cherry on top! Danny lives in Gotham, does some ghostly sigil stuff around to protect Gothamites from bad ghosts, it backfires, we don't know why. Red duck candles are involved. The Batkids are chaos. and im here eating popcorn because it's all super entertaining to watch unfold. 100/10 jessica's duck candle

Friendly neighborhood vigilante by Elizabehta_Beilschmidt: Jazz/Jason THE FIC. honestly one of the best Anger Management fics i've ever read. Love the way Communication between partners is portrayed here and how they overcome the hurdles despite the shitshow that is both their lives (affectionate). 10/10 would read again

Danny Fenton: Dead and Loving It by HyperKid: You need an ao3 account for this one, go go go go make one because it's super worth it! Jason/Danny. They meet at the graveyard, your honour! They actively mess with Bruce and the rest of the Batkids! Gala Shenanigans! What else can i say? Go read!

Worm Off the String by TourettesDog: I am licherally dying of laughter. Peak comedy. Danny/Tim ft little baby man Danny who Tim thinks is Danny's weird af pet. Honestly, so GOOD. 100/10 comedy gold.

Press Heart to Subscribe by Die_Erlkonigin6083: A Danny/Damian fic in which Danny is a streamer and Damian watches his stream. Super cute, well executed, 100/10 sweetness scale

Imprint by Hashtag_DriveBy: Babes i dunno what to tell you. I've done fanart of this fic. De-aged baby Danny and DadHood. Human-ish Fright Knight and Excellent friend Roy. Guys seriously. SO SO SO SO GOOD. 100/10 I wanna see the kid reveal to the batfam and am vibrating out of existence imagining scenarios. - There are more but I can't possibly list them all in one go, I'll make another fic rec list later 💙

[hisaribi]

<333 OMG THANK U FOR THE LONG RESPONSE ABT OMEGA JAY + EVEN MORE OF YOUR BETA DICK HCS 😭💞 they're really lovely, I really enjoy how you look at omegas? The protectiveness and how they'd be bigger moreso focusing on protection and stuff ! Cool ! Worldbuilding ! I love how you get these different types of packs (like Damian's!) etc etc

Reverse Robin's Dick is absolutely precious, I love him infinitely. His and Damian's dynamics are <333 just lovely since Damian has mellowed down and softened quite a bit :') <33

SORRY 😭 just being attacked by brain worms, thank u sm for the lengthy answer !!! Small question because rev robins is just so fun and I got like, extra WOAH-ED by it, are you killing off Tim here (Making him RH or some other Crime lord, much colder than what Jason is) or is it still Jason (Eternally doomed god help him 😭)

And ! It just made me imagine big brother Jason ! Even more protective of pups and betas, Dick is both ;-; (is he going to get smothered?)

AGAIN!!! THANK U !!! ur so cool <3

I'm really glad it brought you joy! No you're cool!

the context: beta dick grayson post, omega Jason ask

I love reverse robins as a way to explore dynamics that can still be the same even if everything is so so different, so yeah, and in omegaverse with Dick being the only beta in a pack that isn't used to it and yet somehow holding them together is just great!

but I have sort of difficult relationship with rr, because I have preferences about them, that I don't see a lot lol

one of them Batgirls (minus Steph, or no, idk), being the canon-age, so no, babs isn't youngest in this, she's older than Damian and they have a love-hate relationships that are more sibling-like, Cass is the third eldest, Duke is forth and so on, Staph probably still between Jason and Tim, but idk. Harper also has her canon age, because I said so, anyway, back to all that

another is that Tim joined because of Dick and his obsession with him caused by trauma and all that. So in Reverse Robins he won't be joining the family before Dick. I sorta like him joining during the battle for cowl, the same goes for Duke, actually, but for different reasons. So Tim would be over 17 (lol), and he steps in because Dick being Dick would try and hold a leash on a bunch of elder batfam people who try to become Batmans but they all suck so ye, Tim steps in to help Dick. I have this post about reverse robins where ages are reversed, but not the order of adoption, so something like that would still be good for our reverse robins omegaverse thingie we talk about. so again, we can go around that with B adopting Tim before any of that, but that's a different can of worms. Also I sorta prefer Tim being more on the Oracle side

Now for died and was revived and it was a shitshow (affectionate), I think it should be either Jason or Steph, but also Steph's story as Spoiler compiles me, so no, Tim won't be the Robin who died (they are also Shadows, not Robins, and nobody knew who really lived through all the vigilante thing, if anything and we make Duke join the first, him and Damian constantly changing does create a nice creature vibe, anyway), for me it's still Jason

I also do love the possible body dysphoria Jason would get, because he died on a pretty short side right before Dick appeared in the family (I put their age difference) more like what they have in pre-n52 canon, because I really dislike what they did with ages here, anyway, at least 7 years difference, so Jason died at 15, Dick got to the family right after that and B was grieving and gosh what a shitshow that would be, so back to Jason, he's suddenly really-tall, really buff, and clearly omega, and he comes back in like two years max with his whole Red Hood shtick, and he's like I've been replaced, and looks at a kid who's clearly ready to throw hands with him, who also went like I'm not Shadow, I'm Robin, screw you

And Jason, who was used that nobody, not even Damian, got to the field before they were fourteen, that was a strict rule on B's side (actually Damian was a menace since day one he appeared at Bruce's door at the age of ten, but that's not what you tell your youngest), and yet here's kid who probably didn't live even a decade (I hc that before 13 he was like on a shorter side, but then between 13 and 15 he almost reached his adult height, so he definitely looked younger), and Jason's like... Bruce, at first I wanted to make you suffer, but now I'm going to kill you, how DARE you endanger the kid, what dO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T ADOPTED AND YOU KEEP HIS AS A WARD?! so ye, tiny Dick being the wrench that broke all Jason's dramatic plans

Dick's also has a 1000 quota stare, because he went through grieving B, fought teeth and nails to have his own vigilante persona, and he's used to wrangle Bruce and Jean-Paul, as well as Duke and Damian, and Batgirls, the kid is unfazed by the last Shadow coming back to life and his bag of severed heads is like huh, anyway, moving on

also yes, Dick is going to be smoothered by everyone, he would like it, as long as aside from that time he's treated as equal and stop trying to carry me away I had everything under control. also like really not getting the whole pack stuff, but mimicking it well enough that there's a bet who he would grow up to be, and Damian and Cass look at each other like nope, not telling them

also idk where to put it, so out of mentioned here Tim is alpha, Duke is omega, Steph is omega (and is the fourth tallest of the batfam), Babs is alpha, Cass is alpha, Harper idk, she has alpha vibes, I don't remember actually if I contradict myself, so whatever

so ye, thank you for the ask and have a nice day!

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

30 Days With the Bard

After a year and a half, several scrapped drafts, and 30K words, the sequel to Hanging Out With the Right People is finally posted! You can find it here on AO3 or read the first few scenes below.

Rating: M

Warnings: none

Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier; Eskel/Geralt/Yennefer; pre-Eskel/Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer

Summary: After saving Jaskier from execution, Geralt, Eskel, and Yennefer agree to let Jaskier travel with them for thirty days, with varying degrees of reluctance. But just as Geralt starts to develop a soft spot for the bard with the blue eyes and quick wit, they discover that there’s more to Jaskier than meets the eye—and the bard’s secrets might put all of them in jeopardy.

***

Before

"Would it kill the two of you to take me to a party someday where nobody is likely to get murdered?" Yennefer asks, checking her lipstick in the looking glass.

Eskel snorts. "Yenn, the last party you took us to, half the attendees died."

"And most of them deserved it."

Sitting back on the bed of the inn room the three of them are sharing, Geralt shakes his head at his lovers. "You two planning on murdering someone?" He directs the question mostly to Yenn. They aren't sure if the duchess whose third wedding Yennefer and Eskel are attending has really been sacrificing maidens in a bid for eternal life or if it's just a pernicious rumor. Knowing their history with noble weddings, it's sure to be a shitshow either way.

Yennefer meets his eyes in the looking glass, red lips curving into what someone who doesn't know her well would think is a sweet smile. "Only if they need to be murdered."

Eskel sighs, exasperation belied by the affectionate hand he brushes through Yennefer's hair. "You sure you don't want to come with us, Wolf? Keep the bloodshed to a minimum?"

"I'd love to," Geralt deadpans. "Unfortunately, there's a griffin in the woods that needs killing. Send the duchess my regrets."

"The griffin will still be there when we get back," Yennefer points out.

"And more than likely, at least one hunter won't be." Most lordlings at least have the sense not to send people into the territory of an angry griffin, but not the local baron. He's more concerned about getting fresh meat on his table than keeping his servants from becoming meat for a griffin. “Someone needs to take care of the problem before it makes its way into the village.”

“You going to need help?” Eskel looks hopeful.

“I think he can handle a griffin just fine.” Yennefer turns to Geralt with a raised brow. “We’ll be gone for no more than a week. Do you think you can stay out of trouble for that long?”

Geralt snorts. “Think I can manage that, Yenn.”

***

The griffin is no trouble. Neither are the ghouls that have taken over the local graveyard. The trouble comes back at the inn, where Geralt is fast asleep when three young men, all drunk and looking to prove a point, come bursting into his room with the intent to kill.

All that comes after is death and screaming.

***

Someone in the next cell is singing. He’s been singing for most of the two days since Geralt got tossed in the dungeon. His range varies. He sings odes to the rats he’s befriended and scalding ditties implying that the guard’s mother fucked a weasel—which, in Geralt’s opinion, is unfair to weasels. He’s singing the latter when Geralt hears the sound of something heavy ricocheting off the door. Probably a stool.

“Can’t wait to watch you swing tomorrow, you little shit! Hope it takes a long time for your fucking neck to break.”

The singing abruptly stops. Geralt hears the sound of heavy footsteps stomping past his cell. A moment later, he hears a stuttering inhale from the next cell, followed by a single ragged sob. It’s the first sound of despair Geralt has heard from his fellow prisoner in the past two days.

He thinks about calling out. He doesn’t know what he’d say; it’s not like he’s good at comforting people. That’s Eskel’s forte, not his. But it seems wrong to let the young man be alone on the last night of his life.

In a tremulous voice, the man begins to sing again. Geralt closes his eyes, leans his head back against the wall, and listens.

***

Day 0

Geralt knows he should walk away when the bespelled guard commands the executioner to free him from the gallows. The man reeks of lilac and gooseberries; the baron's change of heart and his guard's interference is clearly Yennefer's work. He knows if he walks away from the gallows, Yennefer and Eskel will be waiting for him, probably exasperated that Geralt managed to put himself in mortal danger yet again. He can take a bath to wash the scent of the dungeons off of him, have a decent meal, and lose himself in his lovers' arms. Maybe tomorrow, Yennefer will portal them to see Ciri. After thinking that he was never going to see her again, all he wants is to hug his daughter.

But he makes the mistake of turning around.

Jaskier can’t be older than his early-to-mid-twenties, wide-eyed and scared out of his fucking mind, though he's trying to keep a brave face. His mouth trembles as he tries to smile at Geralt. "Well, nice chatting with you, Geralt," he says. "I would say I'll see you around, but... well, you know."

The magistrate is reading out the charges against the bard: debauchery and disturbing the peace. Geralt isn't sure how refusing to fuck the baron is "disturbing the peace," but it doesn't matter. The fact that it's a bullshit charge won't make the kid any less dead if the baron gets his way. People die stupid, pointless deaths all the time, but this one seems especially so. Rejecting someone's advances doesn't warrant a death sentence, no matter how powerful that someone is.

Jaskier's heartbeat ratchets up to a silent scream as the magistrate finishes reading the list of charges. His enormous eyes are locked on Geralt's face. He isn’t pleading for his life, but he might as well be.

"Fuck," Geralt growls.

He knows it's a mistake, even as he steals the guard's sword and drives the hilt into the man's head, knocking him out. He knows it's a mistake as he cuts Jaskier free of the gallows and slings the bard over his shoulder. He knows it's a mistake as he turns to meet the incoming guards with his stolen sword raised.

But he'll get them out of this alive first and worry about the consequences later.

***

"I still don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do with a bard,” Yennefer grumbles.

The bard in question is sprawled out in front of the campfire, lying on his back with his limbs akimbo, snoring loudly. His chemise is hitched up a little, exposing the pale, hairy plane of his stomach. It’s a show of trust that no one with a sliver of common sense would show when sharing a campsite with two witchers and a sorceress.

“I couldn’t just let him swing for the crime of not sucking the baron’s dick.” Geralt can’t quite keep the edge from his voice. 

Her expression softens, just a little. “No, but we didn’t need to invite him along.”

“Think he invited himself,” Eskel says dryly from her other side.

“It’s only for a month, Yenn.” Geralt puts a hand on her knee, rubbing slow circles with his thumb. “Thirty days. He’ll be gone by the time we need to go get Ciri from the Temple of Melitele and head to Kaer Morhen for the winter.”

The bard snorts loudly in his sleep.

“Fine, but he’s your problem.” Yennefer jabs her finger at Geralt. “ Entirely your problem. I want nothing to do with this bullshit.”

Geralt nods, because he sees no point in arguing. Jaskier will only be with them for thirty days. That’s not enough time for him to cause any real havoc.

***

Day 1

“Hey.” Geralt nudges the still-snoring bard with the toe of his boot. Jaskier hasn’t stirred the entire time that Geralt, Eskel, and Yennefer have been packing up camp around him. They could probably leave him here and the kid wouldn’t notice. Geralt’s not sure how the fuck he’s survived as a traveling bard. “Time to get up.”

Jaskier’s eyes fly open and he gasps, flinching backwards. Geralt grimaces at the sour scent of terror flooding the air. He’s used to humans smelling afraid around him, but he hadn’t been expecting this human to be terrified of him, not after how insistent Jaskier had been the day before about wanting to travel with Geralt, Eskel, and Yennefer. On the other side of the clearing, Eskel’s head jerks up, posture going tense.

And then Jaskier’s bleary eyes focus on Geralt and his expression clears, a smile curling his lips. The terror scent fades as quickly as it had flared up. “Good morning, Geralt! That was the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten in weeks. Where are we off to this fine day?”

The day is gray and a little damp, with the chill of autumn cutting through the last vestiges of summer. It’s not what Geralt would ever think of as a “fine day.” “We need to put more distance between ourselves and Tridest. We’re going to head east to Flotsam. If we make good time, we’ll be there by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Excellent!” Jaskier says, which is the most enthusiasm Geralt has ever seen anyone show about going to Flotsam. “I spent several weeks in Flotsam last spring. Met the loveliest lady, Hilde, I think her name was, or maybe Heidi. No, definitely Hilde, I remember because—”

Yennefer, who doesn’t tolerate cheerfulness before midday, gives Geralt a look that very clearly says, “shut him up or I will.”  

“Here.” Geralt shoves a piece of hardtack at him. No one can jabber and eat hardtack at the same time, one of its few virtues. “Eat this. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

Jaskier takes the hardtack with a grateful smile, one that only dulls a little when he takes a bite. He tries to say something, but it’s incomprehensible around the hardtack, so Geralt just turns away from him and goes back to saddling up Roach.

***

“So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Jaskier says an hour or so later, walking between Roach and Scorpion.

“We do,” Yennefer deadpans from the back of her mare, Sabrina, named after a girl she went to school with. Geralt thought that they must have been good friends until Yennefer explained that it was supposed to be a slight against the other sorceress.

Jaskier continues on, heedless of her reply. “How does this work?” He gestures between the three of them.

Yennefer looks down her nose at him. “If no one has given you the birds and the bees talk, bardling, I suggest you go back to Oxenfurt and ask one of your old professors.”

“No, thank you.” Jaskier looks up at her with a brilliant smile. “They did a shit job of giving that talk the first time around. I was nearly twenty when I realized you could use your mouth to—”

“How does what work?” Eskel cuts him off, frowning at Yennefer.

“The three of you,” Jaskier says. “Do you travel together all the time? How did you meet? How long have you three been together?”

Yennefer arches an eyebrow. “What makes you think we’re together?”

“I’m a bard.” Jaskier’s voice takes on a lofty tone. “I know love when I see it and the three of you are clearly in love.”

Eskel turns to Geralt with a look of wide-eyed incredulity. “You’re in love with Yennefer too?”

“Don’t worry, darling.” Yennefer’s lips curl into a little smirk. “There’s plenty of room in my bed for the both of you. Unless you’d rather duel about it.”

Jaskier looks between the three of them with the enormous eyes of someone just realizing they’ve stepped in it. ”I, er…”

“They’re fucking with you,” Geralt tells him flatly. 

Yennefer sighs. “You’re no fun, Geralt. Thank the gods I have Eskel.”

Eskel looks very smug.

“Ah, I see how it is.” Jaskier barks a laugh. “It isn’t kind to torment your new friend, you know.”

“We’ll keep that in mind when we make a friend,” Yennefer says.

Geralt talks over Jaskier’s offended gasp. “It’s been the three of us for ten years now. We don’t travel together all the time. Most towns will chase out two witchers with stones as soon as we step foot in them and Yennefer has her own life, away from the Path.”

“Oh?” Jaskier turns to Yennefer, eyes bright with curiosity.

“No,” she says flatly and his shoulders sag a little.

Geralt doesn’t know how he ended up being the one doing all the talking, but Yennefer seems uninterested in answering Jaskier’s questions, Eskel is still faintly bewildered by the bard, and he has a feeling that Jaskier will keep asking until he gets the information he wants. “Eskel and I have known each other since we were boys. Yennefer and I met fifteen years ago in Aedirn.”

“He was hired to kill me.” Yennefer’s lips quirk.

Instead of looking horrified, Jaskier looks delighted. “Oh ho, I can tell there’s a story there.”

“Not really.” Geralt shrugs. “I didn’t kill her.”

“Well, I would hope not. That would have been an inopportune start to a romance.”

“There wasn’t much of a romance at the beginning,” Geralt says dryly. “She tried to kill me the first time we met.”

Yennefer makes no attempt to look remorseful. “That’s what you get when you barge into someone’s hiding place with a fucking sword.”

“Why were you hired to kill her?” Jaskier frowns. “I thought witchers killed monsters, not men. Or in this case, mages.”

“I was accused of assassinating the Queen of Lyria and her daughter,” Yennefer says. “Geralt had the misfortune to be traveling through Lyria at the time.”

Geralt hums. “The King of Lyria didn’t give a shit that I only kill monsters. It was either my head or hers.”

“But you saved her instead.” Jaskier looks downright starry-eyed.

Geralt snorts. “She saved herself.”

“You helped.” Yennefer reaches over to pat his arm.

“And then how did it become the three of you?” Jaskier looks between Yennefer and Eskel.

Geralt exchanges glances with his lovers. The story of how the three of them got together is inextricably entwined with the story of how Geralt claimed Ciri via Law of Surprise. And Geralt doesn’t need to discuss it with Eskel and Yennefer to know that there’s no way in hell that they’re going to tell Jaskier about Ciri. What keeps their daughter safe is that everyone thinks Princess Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon was lost at sea with her parents eight years before. No one would think to connect the lost princess to nine-year-old Ciri, the feisty, spirited student at the Temple of Melitele who gives her teachers endless gray hairs.

“I needed a witcher’s assistance and Geralt was unavailable,” Yennefer says, which isn’t entirely a lie. “Once Eskel and I got to know each other, it didn’t take long for us to realize what Geralt saw in the other one.”

“But how—”

“What about you?” Eskel asks. “How did a noble become a traveling bard?”

Jaskier strikes Geralt as the type to love talking about himself, so he’s surprised when the bard almost looks flustered. “Well, my parents sent me to Oxenfurt when I was twelve, like every noble son in Redania. We’re expected to study all seven liberal arts, but much to my parents’ dismay, I was far too interested in the art part of the liberal arts, particularly music. When I graduated from Oxenfurt, they thought I would return to Lettenhove and take my place as my father’s heir. Instead, I just… walked in the opposite direction of Lettenhove. That was seven years ago. I haven’t been home since.”

Geralt hums, remembering that Jaskier’s father apparently told the Baron de Tridest to go ahead and have his son executed. From the lost look on Jaskier’s face, he’s thinking the same thing. Taking pity on him, Geralt decides to change the subject. “Want to hear about the time Eskel nearly burned down the keep where we grew up?”

Eskel shoots him a betrayed look. “That was an accident.”

“Wouldn’t have made the keep any less burned down if there hadn’t been a mage nearby.”

“Come on, Wolf.”

“I would be delighted, Geralt.” Jaskier grins up at him, blue eyes sparkling with relief at the distraction.

Geralt has never been much of a storyteller, but he can try his best if it keeps Jaskier from getting that lost look on his face again.

***

Read the rest on AO3!

[sugdenlovesdingle]

To your "never watched 2019" anon, please let them know, I will keep them company in the club 😂 Couldn't do it then. Can't do it now. The Vic SL started out strong and initially the Robron SL accompanying it was solid as well. Robert struggling with his guilt of not being able to protect his sister and being "very Robert" about the situation. Aaron challenging Robert on his stance and bringing his own story to make Robert understand, Vic standing here ground, Diane being the confused mediator that she always was, Aaron being a friend to Vic etc. Those early days have us some quite intense and honest to God complex sls that tested Domestic Robron as a couple. And Ryan and Danny were absolutely stupendously brilliant in them. Personally, I rate some of those fight scenes to be equally enjoyable as some of the 2016 SLs. And it was genuinely a welcome relief after the clumsy way in which Emmerdale had decided to resurrect the surrogacy SL. Robron having to make that choice between supporting their sisters or paying for the surrogacy, dividing up their responsibilities and chores showed how the couple had matured into husband|husband from affair era Robron. It was beautiful, deep, very Robron and not entirely badly crafted/written.

Then the news broke. And I remember that it was the first time I knew what the phrase "being hit by a ton of bricks" meant. And it didn't help that the SL kept getting more and more ridiculous. Somehow, the village with Dingles, Sugdens was completely powerless against Lee!!🙆‍♀️Aaron was reduced to being almost a sidekick in some of those fight scenes with Lee, which made no sense, and most scenes were about Robert and Vic and not Robron in the Mill!! If it wasn't for Ryan and Danny's powerful acting in those handful of scenes that focused on Robron... Anyway, I gave up. It hurt too much. And now, all that SL leading up to Robert being incarcerated and Aaron moving on has been put in question by Emmerdale themselves, so I don't need to watch it! 😂🤣 Didn't stop me yelling at the show though. There is a part of me, I think that will always be sad that Robron didn't get their story. Aaron being there for Robert and Robert coping in prison and how they keep the family together for 14 years (or less) is a sl that was made for Robron. They would get through it. I know they would have. They are it for each other. And they know it. I don't care what anybody says.

You're right and you should say it, anon. But honestly, every problem you (and I and everyone with half a brain) had with the shitshow that was the second half of 2019... it's all to blame on this asshole (affectionate)

So if he could just stop climbing coconut trees and filming capybaras for a bit and come back as Robert, that would be grand!

[mwebber]

Hope you don’t mind any ‘On The Bound’ lore questions but how do you think Mark would react to all the excessive bodyshaming Seb went through in the Ferrari era?

don't mind at all! i don't know how much more of it will get posted, if ever, so i'm happy to wordvomit on them anyday :)

rough timeline is that seb gets knocked up towards the end of the 2013 season and has the 2014 shitshow delivered in a completely different way due to an awful pregnancy. it's vague, i haven't rlly workshopped it or anything, so let's say that somehow, magically, ferrari find it in themselves to knock on her door and ask her to drive for 2015. and somehow, magically, seb says yes.

the thing is like. by the time the bodyshaming comes around, seb's already been crucified a million times over for how she looks, especially when she was carrying and gained weight. so it's not necessarily new comments that have her feeling like shit; it's the fact that they're coming out of the mouths of people she's trusted for years.

in 2019, she walks out of maranello feeling--confused, more than anything. because the conversation she overheard didn't sound mean-spirited. it was just a voice floating over from down the hallway, lighthearted as it remarked how she was a little fat before sweeping onto something else. like her body shape was the weather, sunny one day and cloudy the next.

she doesn't tell mark, not at first, even when the comments get nastier about her hair, and how it's not as voluminous or thick as it was when she was in her twenties. they're all arguably objectively correct observations, anyway. her body hasn't been the same since she gave birth, even if she's still fit--her lower stomach is a little flabbier, and her tits are a little droopier, and her ass makes finding a good pair of jeans just that much harder.

mark adores her still, though. he worships her and fucks her just as hard as he did when she was a lanky thing, and his opinion is the only other one she really puts stock in when it comes to how she looks. (the first, of course, being her own opinion.) it's easy to forget what anybody else is saying when he can't keep his hands off her, when he treats her like the sexiest woman in the world.

but then the nicknames start, and it's worse than the passing comments that are largely hidden from her. again, they're not necessarily mean. they might be read as affectionate, from a certain point of view. even so, seb can't help looking at her body in her white fireproofs and thinking that white doesn't do her curves any favours.

she doesn't even notice how bad things have gotten until it's 2020, desperately trying to find another team to take her on, and she's acutely aware of the way her thighs chafe under her ferrari-branded skirt. she doesn't think they chafed so much before, or at least she didn't notice it, but they feel rubbed raw now and distinctly, unattractively bulky in the short skirt. britta never seems to suffer from the problem--then again, britta's thighs never seem to touch, an idea that glides through seb's mind calmly before landing in some dark abyss at the edge of her consciousness.

it's mark who's the most concerned and can see everything for what it truly is. mark, who's been running dogged behind the scenes trying to keep the kids occupied while they struggle against the tide of the pandemic, just so seb doesn't need to worry about them in addition to everything else. mark, who's noticed the way seb doesn't linger on her appearance in the mirror for longer than a brief glance when she used to be so vain. mark, who's done all he can in his limited spare time to tell seb in his words and actions that she's the love of his life. she always laughs him off, but lately, she hasn't even been laughing--and she's so tired, like the entire world has fallen onto her shoulders. only the kids seem to ever coax a smile out of her.

when she finally admits that she might have overheard some people saying things, mark looks just about ready to set the entire country of italy on fire. he asks for specifics, but she can't give any. he asks for names, times, places, and she can only give a rough idea, because she's not--counting every instance she's felt a little bad about how she looks. she has thicker skin than that.

mark's rage almost makes things worse. while it's nice that he feels defensive on her behalf, she just wishes he'd stop pressuring her. she's facing enough stress from every other aspect of her life, and she doesn't need him chasing after ghosts that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. he gives up, because he can't stand to hurt her, but it doesn't stop the dark shame that seems to emanate from his wife like milk gone sour, and it doesn't solve anything except the immediate issue of seb wiping tears and snot furiously from her face.

aston martin is supposed to be a fresh start. it is, for the most part: new team, new factory, new friendships to forge, and new goals to chase after. they fumble almost immediately in their eagerness to show her off when she goes for her first seat fitting, however, and mark's dread only grows. she'd gone in trusting that they wouldn't take or release photos. they release the most unflattering photo a camera could possibly capture instead, and britta messages them almost immediately to turn their devices off.

seb doesn't falter until bahrain 2021. while the world erupts into a frenzy about track limits, she sits quietly in her new driver's room with the heels of her palms pressed against her eyelids, tucked securely against mark's side and feeling old. she doesn't know when she lost her ability to drive. she doesn't think she did--the machinery still feels like home to her, but she doesn't think she can keep blaming the car. it can't possibly always be the car.

it's like mark's deepest fears about the bodyshaming become true, because it's spread like a fungus and sown doubt into seb's mind about her capability and worth. that's the pitfall of shame, isn't it? that it goes from being a spot of embarrassment to everything you are and have ever been.

he doesn't save her--only she can do that, given time--but he holds her tighter, and whispers every sweet encouragement he can think of until she stops hiding behind her palms, at least. if he can't be her lifeline, then he'll be her anchor, and he'll hold on until there's nothing more of them but dust floating in the wind.

[shouldiusemyname]

Random WayuHello thoughts (because it's his name now. I guess...)

This show is unhinged and there's a reason these two are top of the cast list on mdl. This couple has the only fully completed arc in this show.

The translation is really something else. This should be studied. I will have to write about this when I have the time - like, why did they suddenly decide to call him Hello? lmao.

Are you telling me that all this time they still haven't had sex? They were ALL OVER EACH OTHER and it's the first time he's going for the dick?!

And this?

This is THE BEST line EVER! Honestly, the entire show is worth this scene alone.

Going back to the translation, if I got it correctly, he's actually asking him - Do you remember that you asked me? And NOT - Do you remember who asked you that?

The question was - What does it mean to Grasp desire?

To which Wayu answers with a grasp of Hello's desire! (Yes, I am committed to Hello's name now)

Then, the only possible conclusion - sex makes you a better actor. That fight scene was so sexually charged, even poor Park couldn't handle it. These two have some kink in them for sure.

Wayu is the best boyfriend and I will fight anyone who says different.

They better be getting their own show after this.

Tagging the only people I know watched this magnificent shitshow (affectionately) @nerdybunnydestiny , @heretherebedork , @respectthepetty

[cottagecore-raccoon]

I hope your Tuesday treats you better than Monday did💛🩵 Monday never deserved you anyway. It's loss. Okay so I've never seen Good Omens but I know you love Aziraphale and Crowley ~ sooo if you're keen, could you please share what it was about them that captured your heart? You can go into as much detail as you're comfortable with. Regardless, I really hope the rest of your day takes it easy on you. !No pressure hey!

This is such a kind ask, thank you so much for taking the time to send it! Today really has been a bit of a shitshow, but at least it's over

Anywho, I feel like the funny this about my obsession with Aziraphale and Crowley is that it sort of came in two parts. The first during the initial phase of lockdown (after I nearly died from what was likely Covid- a story for another day). I, like everyone else, was going rather crazy and just needed something to fill the time. I believe I had already watched some clips of the show on Youtube (since consuming new media is hard for me), so I mostly went into it for their dynamic. I loved their level of comfort with one another, and their somewhat old married couple dynamic. It's worth noting that during this time I was still in denial about my sexuality, so watching Aziraphale's arc, which can be read as an easy analogy for queerness in a family that pretends to be accepting, was... poignant.

The second time around was about a year and a half ago when I was getting into tumblr/fandom culture largely. (Yes, I haven't been here very long.) Basically I had watched OFMD S1, wanted closure, and read a little bit of fanfic for it through tumblr. Then I was like "this is fun and all, but I think I'd like some different characters." I don't exactly know why my first thought was A&C, but I suppose that just shows how much their story meant to me a few years prior. Anyway, I stumbled across Aziraphale's Library and I guess the rest is history.

As for why they mean so much to me now, I think it's largely because I relate to Aziraphale a ridiculous amount. In short, many of his characteristics are things that I have traditionally hated about myself. But people love him anyway. Not in spite of those characteristics, but sometimes because of them. And Crowley has been burned so many times, but he still finds a way to keep going and envision a better world! He's the one to look at arbitrary rules and go "that's stupid" which I love him for. He's there to subtly push to Aziraphale and by extension the world forward. Also he's just such a silly little guy sometimes (affectionately)

[eternalconsxlationprize]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, [COLTON CRANE] ! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [STEVE LUND] . You must be the [THIRTY-FIVE] year old [FINANCIAL ADVISOR] . Word is you’re [CHARMING] but can also be a bit [SELFISH] and your favorite song is [EVERYDAY BY BON JOVI] . I also heard you’ll be staying in [AURORA BAY DRIVE] . I’m sure you’ll love it!

tw: death

Birthday: February 26th, 1990 Hometown: New York Sexuality: straight Family: parents, older brother, younger brother (†) (+) determined, passionate, easygoing, charming (-) selfish, inhibited, romantically challenged

If you're looking for a man in Finance, with a trust fund; 6’5 and blue eyes..well, his name is Colton Crane and he was born in New York. This middle child comes equipped with emotionally absent parents but an excellent gene pool, two brothers he almost shares a face with, the patience of a Bedouin monk, wit, charm and the ability to mediate a war out of happening; see, brothers. Colt grew up disgustingly rich but in a non-affectionate environment, which naturally meant he knew nothing about expressing love and being loyal to anyone he wasn't sharing a face or DNA with.

Naturally, this led to a string of meaningless flings with starlets, wannabe socialites and women who were more focused on his family name and money so he didn't need to put an actual effort into keeping. And he really wasn't interested in keeping them either. Even when he cheated on them, they endured; he was growing desperate on how to get rid of them. Apparently, he fit their dream type even when he was actively trying to be a jerk. What a mess... And then he met Sloane; and he didn't know what hit him. For the first time, Colton actually wanted to take care of someone, be present and make her happy. Other girls? Oh my God, women still existed!? He knew nothing of it!

In the next few years, it was all going great for him really. He had an on-again-off-again relationship, but otherwise perfect by his standards, his career was skyrocketing, his parents weren't on his case that much and his brothers were cool. Everything was great. Until it wasn't. First, it was Sloane that was gradually distancing herself emotionally. Had he done something wrong? Had he managed to break his favorite girl? At the same time, there was something in the air with his little brother, Patrick too. The kid, Colt always knew, was all over the place..but he never vanished off the face of the earth, especially for so long as to have them all worried. He knew his parents knew what was going on, but he and his brother were in the dark, as if they suddenly weren't part of the family. It was a mess.

And then there was a phone call. A damn phone call. Patrick was dead; simple and complicated as that, no answers, no nothing. His parents wouldn't say a word and it was driving Colton mad. He was a wreck; he loved his brother and now he was gone..and before long, Sloane was gone too. He didn't blame her, not really. He knew he was a shitshow at the time, he wasn't good enough to keep her. After that, it was a few blurry months, filled with alcohol, pain and self loathing. But you can't keep a Crane down for long. To the outside world, Colton Crane was fine. In fact he was great.

And he intended to be great; only for real this time. For the next year and a half, he worked himself to the ground, took care of friends, bonded more with his older brother, expanded his financial consulting firm and then gradually found parts of his old self; the guy who laughed loudly, who enjoyed sports, art and parties. And he knew he'd be good again...

[sgiandubh]

What, we didn't have Paul Donnelly in this round of the shitshow? I thought this was his environment!

Dear Environment Anon,

You certainly mean Paul D. the boxing/fitness actor with that loan, not the South African [edit: Scottish born and Australian ex-pat success story, gracias 😘] chef.

Well, we didn't. I wonder if that loan is still unpaid as such and if we can connect any dots. But hey, at this point, we can only speculate and the least thing I would like to do is micromanage or address every single, tiny detail of this very rich tapestry of secrets and lies we (almost affectionately) call #shitshow.

Other than that, you know my mantra, right?

PS: And yes your guess would be correct - 'All the President's Men' is one of my Top 10 movies ever. My #1 being Akira Kurosawa's Kagemusha. I mean, have you ever seen anything more elegant than this, Anon?

I haven't, to be honest.

[hellsvestibule]

I think characterizing Lancelot as a shameless womanizer seeking out married women on purpose is broke af to my understanding of him. but I m not a hardliner oh h he’s too loyal for that either bc i do find the idea funny that it’s not actually the strict principle he pretends it is so long as you hack into whatever brain chemistry it is that compels him to love in the most batshit way imaginable. And bc I’m an asshole who don’t really like the idea of “one fated true love” as a concept especially in a series like fate where this is like, never the point, that romantic love will absolve whatever’s wrong w you, which is kind of the key issue that makes him and guinevere compelling but also unhealthy. They are so toxic and codependent they struggle to even breathe without each other. Fucking literally. They try to suffocate themselves over it. And I think bc of that I have no problem w her not being here so for once he doesn’t orient his entire being around her he has to learn to become a functional person without her, he and guinevere deserve to rebel against the narrative a bit bc he simply wasn’t allowed before, he often acts like the narrative is holding a gun to his head forcing him to love her and took for granted he couldn’t have anything other than her. So the hardline I guess “shippers” of them to the point where they can’t chill on seeing thempaired w anyone else or don’t unders why he needs to grow as a person without her first also annoy me. But just wish people would acknowledge he’s not the guy a lot of people assume he is. He gets attention from women really easily bc he’s respectful of them to a fault but at least in his source material I’ve read was only really interested in guinevere. but he loves having random bromance with random old guys in the midst of whatever shitshow he’s involved in so like sure maybe he’d fuck a woman other than the queen if he could also like steal your dad or have old man yaoi about it bc it feels like romance is so much more about getting caught up in a Situation for him more than it is about merely presenting him with a pretty woman. and that’s what I actually like about him. Like. Read any story involving him especially knight of the cart. He’s so fucking pretentious about how disinterested he is in romancing hot women who aren’t Her (longingly gazes off into the vast expanse of space) he likes women platonically but he is actually really avoidant of them in an interpersonal level while he’s Allowed to be affectionate with men and so he is less restrained in his affections towards them to the point where the modern perspective is often inclined to be like yeah sorry tails this looks gay to the audience (which I like to fully lean into. He’s a bi icon tbh) maybe some of the later iterations of him do away with him being kind of prudish about women I admit I have not read every single iteration of Arthurian mythos but I do remember reading urobuchi saying he doesn’t take that perspective of him so it’s still annoying to me how much it’s the Go To gag while fgo also simultaneously mostly portrays him correct to my understanding of him as just. A guy who is always in a Situation